Do you need a Lisa fix and can’t wait till the next novel? She’s got a funny new book coming, called WHY MY THIRD HUSBAND WILL BE A DOG: The Amazing Adventures of an Ordinary Woman. Together in one collection are Lisa’s wildly popular Philadelphia Inquirer columns that show the humorous side of life, from a woman’s perspective. Filled with seventy charming and hilarious vignettes, it’s trademark Scottoline.
Reading WHY MY THIRD HUSBAND WILL BE A DOG is like visiting with an old friend. Lisa lets her hair down, roots and all, to write about her ordinary, extraordinary adventures. You’ll laugh at Lisa’s stories and recognize yourself or a loved one in her, Mother Mary, Brother Frank, Daughter Francesca, or BFFs Franca and Laura. No topic is off-limits, and thanks to Lisa, nothing is ever really ordinary. Here’s a sampling from the book:
On Spanx: “I squeezed into them and they transformed my lower body into a cylinder. There were no saddlebags where God intended, and I didn’t have buttocks, I had buttock. I became the cardboard in the roll of toilet paper.”
On Motherhood: “It wasn’t a good idea to join a gym with my daughter. She needed a trainer, and I needed a defibrillator. She wanted treadmills, and I wanted CPR. Bottom line, she was trying to look hotter, and I was trying not to die.”
On Love:“The thing about love is that we can’t control whether we get it, but we can control whether we give it. And each feels as good as the other. Your heart doesn’t know if it’s loving a man, a book, or a puppy. If your heart were that smart, it would be your brain.”
On Men: “It’s only natural for a man to wonder what a woman’s chest looks like. Men have testosterone for a reason, and if they don’t use it looking at our chests, they’ll be causing wars and football playoffs.”
Plus so much more about life, family, pets, and the pursuit of jeans that actually fit. If you need a great gift book for the holidays, treat yourself or someone you love to WHY MY THIRD HUSBAND WILL BE A DOG!
"She has compiled about 70 of the funniest, smartest and most poignant dispatches into one deliciously exuberant collection. What really makes this collection so addictive is Scottoline's way of capturing everyday moments, dissecting them and coming up with unexpected and slightly off-kilter observations about life."
"Brief, punchy slices of daily life...[that] this ordinary woman faces with verve and wicked humor. Scottoline maintains a frothy repartee with the reader."
– PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
"Scottoline's choice of topics is impressively broad. She's shrewd, tart, sensitive and hard to resist."
– KIRKUS REVIEWS
"Scottoline takes the fodder of everyday life and offers witty reflections from a female perspective."