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One Down by Lisa Scottoline | June 28, 2009 Mother Mary never forgets anything. Take the Case of the Crossword Puzzle Cookie Jar. Our story begins when I see an ad for a cookie jar in the newspaper. It's a square, white jar with a real crossword puzzle on each of the four sides, and it has a special pen that you use to fill in the blanks. Plus, it comes with heart-shaped cookies that I don't have to bake myself. Click here to read more. Miles to Go by Lisa Scottoline | June 21, 2009 I know I'm supposed to become my mother, but I'm actually becoming my father. Click here to read more. 
Begrudging by Lisa Scottoline |
June 14, 2009
I'm not one to hold a grudge. On the contrary. I don't merely hold a grudge I wave my grudge proudly. I hoist it like the Statue of Liberty with her torch. I love my grudges. I put the grrrr in grudge. Click here to read more. Reading is Fundamental by Lisa Scottoline | June 7, 2009 Mother Mary has a new job that benefits us all. Before I reveal it, let me explain that, when I was growing up, Mom and Pop Scottoline weren't big readers. In fact, there was one book in our house. Guess what it was. The Bible, you say? No. Click here to read more. 
Pillow Talk by Lisa Scottoline |
May 31, 2009
One of the great things about getting older is that you're tired enough to fall asleep, all the time. Or maybe it's that you realize you're not missing anything if you nod off. You know that it will all be there when you wake up, for good or ill. This might be called perspective. Or laziness. Click here to read more. Meals on Wheels by Lisa Scottoline | May 24, 2009 I'm not sure when my car became my house, but I think it happened somewhere near Pittsburgh. I've been driving around for a book tour, so I've been on the road for about four weeks. And you know what? I love it. Click here to read more.
Ode To Hallmark by Lisa Scottoline | May 12, 2009 It's Mother's Day, so this is a good time to address the question of Hallmark holidays. Bottom line, I'm in favor. As in, two thumbs way up! Click here to read more. Jitterbugging by Lisa Scottoline | May 3, 2009 
The Scottolines are flying everywhere, like protons spinning crazily out of control. I may be wrong on the science, but I think this is why we just had a familial nuclear explosion.
It started because I'm on book tour, brother Frank is visiting daughter Francesca in New York, and my mother is left at home in Miami. Alone. Without a cell phone. Click here to read more. Babies Having Babies by Lisa Scottoline | April 19, 2009 As you know, this month I am on tour for my new book, "Look Again," so I asked daughter Francesca to help me out with the column, among other things. When I was in high school, my mother's book tour meant that I had the house to myself, and I would spend the month eating a lot of spaghetti and Top Ramen noodles (cooking = boiling water), staying up late watching cable TV (swear words! edgy!), and cursing myself for not having the guts (or the contacts) to throw a totally sick house party. Instead, I was one of the kids who had her first sip of beer from my grandmother's Bud Light at 10 years old and then not again until college. Click here to read more. Mom, Interrupted by Lisa Scottoline | April 12, 2009 So I'm in New York, visiting daughter Francesca for the weekend, which is just the thing to remind you that your child is more adult than you. She drinks stronger coffee, wears high heels with style, and could put on liquid eyeliner, blind. Me, I'd blind myself with liquid eyeliner. Click here to read more. Author Barbie by Lisa Scottoline | April 5, 2009 I'm about to leave on book tour, which means I have to get my roots done and buy new jeans. This would be the proverbial good news and bad news. Click here to read more. The Value of Money by Lisa Scottoline | March 22, 2009 Now that we have an economic stimulus plan, everybody is trying to figure out how it will work. Me, I opt out. I'm trying to figure out how Jennifer Aniston spent $50,000 on her hair during her movie tour to London and Paris. I'm not sure she got her money's worth, unless they blew her dry with gold. Click here to read more. Undergraduate by Lisa Scottoline | March 22, 2009 Little Tony and I just completed our first day of puppy kindergarten, and we flunked. Of eight puppies, he was the worst in the class. Where did I go wrong? Click here to read more. Creamy by Lisa Scottoline | March 15, 2009 I had never used any moisturizer on my face at night, but when I went to visit daughter Francesca in New York, both she and her roommate smeared cream all over their faces before they went to bed. And their combined ages are still less than mine. Click here to read more. It Doesn't Pay by Lisa Scottoline | March 8, 2009 I read that most adults spend three to five hours a day watching TV, but I don't believe it. Know why? The only shows on TV are Paid Programming. Click here to read more. Risqué Business by Lisa Scottoline | March 1, 2009 I was driving along the highway the other day and saw a sign that was even weirder than Fish Pedicures. It was one of those signs naming the group or business that "adopted" the highway, which I guess means they pay to maintain it, but that doesn't matter for this story. What matters is I was driving on a highway adopted by Club Risqué. I suspected immediately that Club Risqué was not a book club. Click here to read more. Defeated by Lisa Scottoline | February 22, 2009 
I was driving down the street the other day when I saw a sign on an empty storefront that read, "Fish Pedicures Coming Soon!"
It was the kind of sign that got me thinking. Do fish need pedicures? You'd think they would do without, in this economy. Click here to read more. Everything Old is Nude Again by Lisa Scottoline | February 15, 2009 Something dangerous is going on in the world of women's underwear, and I want to nip it in the butt. Sorry. I am referring, of course, to Spanx. Click here to read more. The Sixth Sense by Lisa Scottoline | February 8, 2009 I've been reading a lot in the news lately about swindlers like Bernie Madoff, and I feel sorry for the people and charities who were duped. There, but for the money, go I. Click here to read more. News Flash by Lisa Scottoline | February 1, 2009 I woke up this morning with the best hot flash I ever had. This was such a good hot flash that if I smoked, I would've reached for a cigarette. If you get my drift. Click here to read more. 
Besties by Lisa Scottoline |
January 25, 2009
Many of us pet fanatics will admit that we learn life lessons from our dogs and cats, but few will go so far as to say that their role model is a puppy. I will. Click here to read more. Crybaby by Lisa Scottoline | January 18, 2009 For someone who has almost no estrogen, I sure do cry a lot. I don't mean in a bad way, but in a good way. I find myself moved to tears a lot lately, and by lately, I mean the past 30 years. I used to cry whenever daughter Francesca was onstage, anywhere, doing anything. You should have seen me at her college graduation. I was positively deranged. The people sitting around me recoiled, and in the pictures from that day, I look drunk. Click here to read more. Life During Wartime by Lisa Scottoline | January 11, 2009 History is littered with famous battles, but even the biggest pale in comparison with the battles in the Scottoline household when my mother is in for a visit. Two of my favorites are the Battle of the Hearing Aid and the Battle of the Thirty-Year-Old Bra. The first shot in the Battle of the Hearing Aid is fired as soon as my mother gets off the plane. Daughter Francesca and I meet her at Terminal B and ask, "How was your flight?" "Red," my mother answers, giving us a big hug. Click here to read more. Playing Chicken by Lisa Scottoline | January 4, 2009 
I'm a fan of the hum-a-few-bars-and-I'll-play-it school. I mean, I like to throw myself into new things and I figure I'll learn along the way. It's worked so far, for everything in my life except romance and chicken farming.
Today, we discuss the latter. Click here to read more.
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